


Away From Here

by emotionalcello



Series: Emocel's Fictober 2019 [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fictober, Fictober 2019, Fluff and Angst, M/M, angel of death - Freeform, but not really yaknow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 05:55:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21174524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalcello/pseuds/emotionalcello
Summary: For Fictober event. Prompt 2. “Just follow me, I know the area.”Jason dreamed that he became a killer. A man wearing a Red Helmet with guns on his hands and bodies on his feet. He waited a moment to wake up. What came instead is an 8-year-old Dick Grayson in his Robin uniform.“What do you want? Why are you showing me this dream.”“I told you, this is your future, and I’m here to save you from it. I’ll take you to a place safe from your future.”





	Away From Here

**Author's Note:**

> Not totally happy with how this turn out, but it's something, and it's done, and it's fictober, I did this in a hurry so...
> 
> enjoy?

In his hands are smoking guns. Around him are the walls of abandoned skyscrapers he had known as his home. On his feet, is a puddle of blood flooding from the man filled with holes that lay limp in front of him. That person is not the only one bleeding, there are a lot more around him, by the roof. Some with heads snapped way to the back, holes on their face, and the only one here that could’ve done it is Jason himself.

He lets go of the guns from his trembling hands. He knows this place like the back of his hand, but suddenly, he has nowhere to run. His feet won't let him get away.

When he finally gains his senses, his instinct brings him home. The manor never felt like home, but Dick made it feel like it does.

The world feels uncanny and off-putting. Reality doesn’t feel solid, but Jason disregards it. He just wants to go home to the people that take him in.

When he does, he finds Alfred the butler that’s been the most present, looking at him with distaste then looks away. Jason felt a sharp pain in his heart, accompanied by sizzling anger, but what he wanted the most is an explanation. He doesn’t get that as his feet bring him down the hall against his will.

The hallways lead to the library where he often spends his days, then he turns the grandfather clock to open the path to the Batcave. There, Batman, even with his mask off, there’s no Bruce in that cave, only Batman. Even so, his adopted father always cares for him. Despite being his soldier, Jason is still his son. Batman looks at him, he doesn’t even look away, his furious furrowed eyes pierce through him like he had committed the greatest sin.

“I know what you did,” his adopted father growled.

On the multiple screens of the Batcomputer are someone in body armor, cargo pants, and a leather jacket. On his chest is a bat symbol painted in red. It’s a costume he has never seen before and his face is covered with a red helmet, but Jason knows that person is him. Clips of him murdering people with guns he promised he’ll never touch, snapping people’s necks, stomping them to the ground played again and again. Jason would never do that, but the feeling in his gut forced him to believe otherwise.

Again, without his permission, his body starts to move. His feet walk down the familiar hallways and sets of stairs until he finally faces Dick’s room. He knocks before he lets himself in. Dick in a tight brand-new Nightwing suit he has never seen before. Slick body-con black suit, enforced but not disrupting his beautiful form and the stark bright blue bat symbol on his chest and strips down his arms. A complete upgrade from the flashy Discowing suit.

One thing that doesn’t change, is the throb in his heart whenever he sees Dick. Even when the one that’s been showing him compassion since he was adopted, is looking at him as the lowest scum of the earth.

His domino mask on hand, showing the hatred in his bright saturated blues.

“You’re a monster,” Dick spat, the coldness of his voice froze Jason on the spot.

“We should’ve let you die on the streets,” Dick approaches, and suddenly Jason feels small despite the line of his eyesight in this body is above Dick. “If I had known you’d betray me, I wouldn’t have taken you in.”

Jason screams but his mouth doesn’t move. In his forced silence in this weird world, he has no control in where he is or what he has done to deserve being abandoned again.

He tried so hard to be the soldier Batman needs, to be considerate for Alfred, and live up to Dick’s legacy as taking the Robin mantle. Did he fail again?

It wasn’t him that kill all those people. The gun was in his hand when he wakes up but Jason didn’t pull the trigger.

This must be a dream, he refuses it to be anything but.

As he thought so, he’s taken to another building with a blink of an eye. The first thing he noticed first is his bloody fist, and when the world becomes clear, he sees another body on his feet. It’s the only body laying on the floor, not one of those goons in black.

For the horrible sickening feeling of disgust at the back of his throat, his heart is oddly calm when he sees himself there. A bloody Robin that’s been beaten to death. The swollen face and busted lips bring back bad memories. He kneels down with his grown-up body, again without his consent, and takes off Robin’s domino mask. It’s not him.

His heart pounds a million beats per minute, and when he finally regains control of his body, the shock drops his body to the floor

“No,” he whispered his first word ever since entering this dream. Eyes gawking, horrified at the child in front of him.

“This isn’t a dream,” Whispered a voice he recognized. Another child appeared beside him, wearing the first Robin uniform with those scaly green boyshorts.

Little 8-year-old Dick Grayson kneels beside him with his little palms on Jason’s shoulder that looks even bigger now. How did he get so big? And how did Dick get so small? Guess, in a dream, everything is possible.

“But it isn’t Jay,” Says the first Robin, putting his gloved hands on each of Jason’s cheek, cradling his face gentler than one would a baby. Despite the bizarre things presented in front of him, he feels calm at Dick’s presence.

“Then what is this?” Jason decides to play along.

“This is your future,” Dick waves his hand behind him and in front of Jason, formed a mirror.

He looked at himself, and he looked like him from the clips on Batcomputer, but now he’s wearing a Robin costume, different from the one used by the boy that he presumed dead. His face grows large, more square and elongated than the last time he sees himself. He looks old, an adult. Like a mad man with the blood all over his face. Like his mother, with the bruises all over his face.

“His name is Tim, Tim Drake. In the near future, you’ll be replaced by him.” Dick lay his face on top of his head and his hand the side of his face.

Both of them are looking at the mirror. The far difference of age in their look doesn’t feel real.

Then he looks away from the mirror, to where the boy named Tim still lay with lifeless eyes opened and staring at Jason.

“No, they wouldn’t do that to me, they wouldn’t abandon me, and you told me you won’t ever hate me, you told me that’s impossible,” Jason croaked to the little Robin beside him.

“Oh, sweet boy,” Dick tips his jaw with those little fingers, now that he thinks about it, it’s damning how little he was when he became a soldier. “I’m not Dick, your mind sees me as him because you trust him.”

“What do you want? Why are you showing me this dream.”

“I told you, this is your future, and I’m here to save you from it. I’ll take you to a place safe from your future.”

“A safe place? Where?”

“Somewhere far away, where you’ll always be young, where you’ll always be happy. To a land far away from this.” His voice soft and kind as he can be, so flattering as his voice have emotion too mature for his age.

“No... there’s no such place, you’re just an imagination. I’ll wake up soon, and I’ll forget you.”

“I am as real as you, and you’ll never forget me, I promise you.” It hurts how earnest Dick’s cute little face begged in agony, “Please, I’m trying to save you.”

“I don’t need saving!” Jason roared, and only now he hears himself with such a deep voice like Bruce’s. He shoves Dick away and stands up on his feet, towering above the dead Robin and Dick, “I’m Robin!”

“And Tim Drake knew that,” Dick adds eerily calm. “Find him, and you’ll know what I say is the truth,” Dick approaches with solemn eyes and a grimly pursed lips. “Call for me when you changed your mind, I’ll come to save you.”

“But, I don’t know who you are.”

Dick jumps up and loops his arms around Jason’s neck. The first affection he received in this odd dream.

Then Jason wakes up in his bed.

++++

He couldn’t tell his dreams to anyone, not even to Dick who senses that Jason is holding back something. The cursed dream where little Robin appeared sticks in his head for the whole year. One day he just breaks and looks for this Tim Drake.

He doesn’t need to look up to Tim Drake, everyone in the city knew the multi-millionaire Drake family and their darling young and only son. He doesn’t even need to come to his house, because the kid appeared in between dark alleyways when Jason was patrolling.

He lands right behind Tim who jolts rigidly as his wide blue eyes twinkle.

“Robin! I-I-I-I-I was just...” he looks down to his camera and holds it tightly.

Of course Jason is angry. Why would Tim Drake go out in the night with cameras out if not for the intention to jeopardize their identity? But seeing his batman backpack, and Robin shoes says that his intention is otherwise. That and how small and so young Tim is, he couldn’t be older than 9. He wondered when –if his dream is real– that Tim replaced him.

No, no way. It’s just a dream. A stupid dream.

“You know who I am, don’t you Tim Drake?”

The child clutches his camera closer to his chest, looking down at his red, yellow and green shoes.

“I do,” He admits.

For now, Jason just smiled, “A little genius aren’t you?” He put his hands on top of Tim’s rubbing gently and messing up Tim’s hair. “Don’t go out too often alright? It’s dangerous out here. Promise me.”

“O-Okay, I’ll go out less,” Tim says with a cute furious blush.

Just to coax Tim more, Jason takes a selfie with Tim and promised to visit him in his room if Tim goes out less. The kid is cute, almost pure, it’s hard to imagine someone like Tim to be a Robin. That just adds another proof that it’s just a dream.

With a big smile and enthusiastic wave, they parted ways.

Jason goes back to Dick’s place that night. Wearing Dick’s hoodie that’s too big for him and training pants that need to be rolled 4 times to not make him stumble.

“You’re gonna tell me what’s this about?” Dick puts down a cup of chamomile tea on the coffee table in front of Jason.

“You’re not gonna believe me,” he turned himself into a ball and shrinks even deeper to the plump sofa.

Dick put his own tea on the table and scoots closer to Jason, “Oh c’mon, I’ve been in space and see the most fucked up shit, try me.”

Jason reasonably hesitated, but Dick’s twinkly eyes and cat-like smile is working too well on him. With a defeated sigh, Jason scoots closer and lands his head on Dick’s shoulder.

“I had a bad dream, it was a year ago but I keep remembering it. Now I confirmed that some pieces of the dream are true.”

“Oh... bad dreams huh,” Dick deflated, putting an arm around Jason’s curled shoulders, “yeah I got them too... Sucks that you already got it.”

“It came with the job huh?”

“Sadly it is, it’s not the safest job. You can still tap out if you want, just be a kid and go to school.”

Jason actually liked the idea, and maybe he’ll avoid the future that comes near him... no way, that was a dream. Maybe Tim’s name in his dream is just a coincidence. A thing of Deja Vu. There’s no way that nightmare is his future. He won’t become that person he looked in the mirror. That’s not him, he won’t beat Tim up, he won't kill people, he won’t betray Dick.

“No, I like kicking ass.”

Dick chuckled, “Okay, just know that the option is there. What did you dream about anyway?”

“Nothing, I think it’s just a Deja Vu thing.”

Jason stayed the night, sleeping with Dick in his cramped single bed.

It’s not the first time Jason slept over at Dick’s but he can never get used to sleeping next to him. His body gets sensitive and over-conscious of the one next to him. At 3 am, he’s still wide awake. Whenever he does, he sits up on the side of the bed and just marvels at Dick’s sleeping face.

It’s like looking at snow white sleeping in a casket of glass, beautiful and out of reach. Even though he’s touching him, there’s an invisible glass that divides them. Dick sleeps deeply and always a tornado of a sleeper, but Jason never complained, because he’ll always get tangled between Dick’s limbs. It helps that Dick is a heavy sleeper and he won’t wake up when Jason snuggles close and steal a big hug.

Dick is in a fetal position, back curling towards where Jason sits. He dared himself to comb back the soft strands of hair from Dick’s beautiful face, sighing dreamily at the sight.

Dick doesn’t hate him, they promised they’ll be there for each other, and Jason meant to carry that promise for the rest of his life. He won't let him down, and he won't let his dream become a reality.

One day, when he’s older, when he can stand up on his own two feet, when he became an adult of a sort, he’ll tell Dick all the things he wanted to say.

Jason cradled the back of Dick’s head and dared himself to kiss the corner of his eyes. He slipped in between Dick’s arms and tuck his head under Dick’s jaw, his own arms wrapped around his built torso. He’s still not sleepy from this closeness, his heart in joyfully dancing. Jason lets it frolic, and enjoy the night awake in Dick’s arms.

++++++

His mother died. His real mother.

What’s left in this musty dim warehouse is him with hands tied tightly on his back and a ticking time bomb sets on top of stacked boxes across the room. He tried the door, but it’s locked from the outside. There are hundreds of ideas in his head on how he escape this situation, but he saw the time on the bomb. Three seconds left, and he just slumped to the floor with the door on his back and close his eyes. Awaiting the explosion to take him.

At least this way, the far future he was shown is wrong. He’ll never be that monster.

“Jason,” Calls a voice of the dream.

Jason cracks his eyes open and sees Dick, grown-up this time with the slick black Nightwing suit with blue streaks on his arms and legs and chest. As much as he wants this to be a reality, it’s not. The clock stops at 00:01. Not only the clock, if he squints, the dust in the air had paused too.

Dick takes off his blue domino mask, looking down from where he’s standing with inhumane crystal blue eyes.

“Come with me Jason,” Dick persuades as he descends to his knees. His striped blue fingers crawl to the knot on Jason’s wrist. With simple touches, Jason’s hands are free.

Dick put his hand on top of Jason’s, now both of them are sitting on the grimy warehouse floor. His eyes won’t let him go, and Jason can’t look away.

“You’re... you’re going to kill me aren’t you?” Jason whispered, the morbid question somehow doesn’t scare him.

“I would never, I just wanted to protect you from your future.”

Jason remembered his dream again, and he started to hate himself, “Or were you trying to protect them from who I’ll become?”

“No, never,” Dick growled, he doesn’t look angry, but his firm voice weighs tons of tension. “There’s a lot of pain in your future, I want to protect you from it.”

Jason looks at the bomb, “But... I’m going to die, there’s no way I’ll grow up.”

Dick shook his head, “Six months after you die, you will be revived, awaken a different man filled with vengeance.”

“Why... why would I want vengeance?”

Dick looks at him solemnly, and looks at the bomb, “You’ll die here,” he says grimly. “Even so, Bruce didn’t avenge you, he let the Joker run free, and then, he’ll replace you with Tim.”

And that’s when Jason wavers. He wants to believe that none of it is real. However, he’s not afraid of the doppelganger in front of him. He might not be Dick, but, Jason clung to him as if he is.

“I don’t want to die,” Jason croaks.

Dick... the fake Dick smiled, “I’m not here to kill you, I’m just taking you away.”

“Where?”

Dick stood up and extend his hand, “Come, I’ll show you.”

It’s not that there’s no sliver of mistrust, but when Jason sees him, he remembers his dream as clearly as it just happened yesterday. His bloody fist, their distasteful faces. It makes his blood runs cold, like a dread burning on his throat, choking the life out of him when he sees what the future foresees him to become.

He takes Dick’s hand, “I’m not coming with you.”

The fake Dick doesn’t express any anomaly, but he paused, “Why?”

“Whatever I’ll do wrong, I’ll say I’m sorry. Wherever you’re taking me, I don’t want to be in a world where there’s no him.”

“What if they’ll never forgive you?”

The possibility drops a ton of weight on his heart. Even so, he eyes this being in front of him, dead on the soul. Even though he’s not sure if his imagination is truly alive and sentient, he can see a person behind those eyes.

“Even _you_ don’t know about that,” Jason answered.

With a stoic face, Dick wraps him in a hug, “As you wish my child.”

Jason closed his eyes, and the light burns behind his eyelids. He only heard the explosion for a split second, and he didn’t even feel pain when he passes.

++++++

Jason returned from the grave without a soul. The pit heals him wrong, and a few pieces of memory are lost with his sanity.

It all came back when his rage is at his peak and he goes head to head with Tim, his replacement.

Among the hits they landed on each other’s faces, one breaks the cage that keeps his memory suppressed

In a blink of an eye, a memory worth years pours into his conscious. In that one second of distraction, the new Robin’s incoming bo staff heading towards his head slowly. The bo arched by the sheer speed and strength that his replacement –that little Tim he met then– is putting.

It’s coming closer slowly, and Jason can dodge that easily. He doesn’t though.

Fighting with an intent to kill made this teenager opponent do the same. The hit on his head rings loudly and the tump of the metal bo against his skull made a loud and silencing thud. The hit threw him sideways just by the pillar, and he fell to the awaiting 20-meter drop.

A drop that never came.

In the next blink, Jason is already on the ground in the arms Dick in his BPD uniform. He saw him in this uniform A few months ago when he researched him. The job suits him. Though he knows this Dick isn’t real. Through the years of research, he knows who this person is now.

“I’m not a child anymore, you couldn’t save me,” Jason groaned. His head and body limp when Tim hits the balance and motoric function out of him. His vision grows sharp, and now he can see the new Robin jumping off the pillar with a retracting gun shooting forward, trying to catch Jason in mid-air.

The entity smiles and emits white light. It blinds him for a few seconds, but when it finally cleared, a beautiful woman with pale skin and white hair covered in veil takes over Dick’s form.

“Where did you take them?” Jason asked about the children.

“A better place than their future,” the woman’s voice sounds light and compassionate, it warms him wholly, almost having a lethargic effect on Jason.

“But you don’t know one’s future... just now, it’s supposed to be Tim in this floor bleeding, but it’s me this time. I can... I can change my future.”

The shining woman express no emotions, but the way she caresses Jason’s face says the opposite.

“I’m sorry my child, I failed to protect you.” She pressed her forehead on top of Jason’s, veiling him in her veil as well.

“I don’t... need protecting... I don’t need saving.”

“I’m not here to save you, I’m here to see you off.”

“What?”

“You’ve died before you hit the ground.”

“No... how do I... It’s just a hit in the head.”

“Too strong to a place it shouldn’t have.”

Jason stares blankly to the woman’s pale blue eyes. Her lips –that are almost as white as her skin– curled slightly downwards. For that moment in her arms, Jason can’t feel angry or regretful. He planned so many things ahead, his revenge, the Joker, his father, he wanted answers from his father. Even though he couldn’t get them now, all he feels now is relieved. The future he remembered had haunted him, and now he’s going to be freed from it.

Only one face that stops him though. The nights he spent with Dick, his sleeping face as Jason quietly stares.

A tear fall to his side as he looks up to where Tim is still falling slowly.

“Shall we go now, Jason?” she softly thread her voice.

“Can I... can I have a few seconds? Please, I need to say something to Tim,” Jason’s voice level and serene.

“Yes you may, it’s the last thing I could do to atone my failure,” her glowing hands gently pressed on top of Jason’s chest.

When Jason blinks again, his head is on the floor and Tim is checking his pulse with shaking hands. As Jason takes off his mask, Tim jolts, but relieved.

“Oh... oh thank god you’re alive, I didn’t mean to... you’re supposed to dodge and I would’ve-”

“Tim listen, I don’t have much time,” Jason blinks a couple of times, and he can see clearly the destruction they’ve created. The third Robin takes off his mask too, and his blue eyes are on the brink of tears. For a moment, Jason can see the tiny baby Tim, just being a fan, now basked in blood and bruises.

“This isn’t your fault... I’m sorry.”

“Wha- that... did I hit your head too hard?” Tim chuckled, though the morbid fear still clear on his face.

“Yeah, you’re a good fighter kid, you fit Robin just fine,” Jason lightly punches Tim on the shoulder. “You always have gut since you were a kid, you’re gonna make a great Robin.”

“You... you remembered me.”

“Of course I do,” Jason sees her behind Tim and smiled. “Tell Dick that I...” the words stuck behind his throat, weighed down by his heavy heart.

Oh, he can’t meet Dick anymore. He’ll never see him again.

His mind travels back when he was still a small tween. Making excuses to sleepover at Dick’s, slipping a hug when he’s asleep. The nights he spent watching him close, too high-strung to sleep just because they’re touching each other. The days when Dick’s offline is agony, and he remembers counting days until his 17th birthday to finally able to approach him.

He promised himself that he’ll tell Dick what he felt when he grows up, it seems that the only one he disappoints is himself.

“You can tell him himself,” Tim breathed, “Stop making that face, why are you saying these things?” his relieve turns into fear.

A hand landed on top of Tim’s and when he looks up, Jason knows Tim can see her too.

“You...” Tim breathed, eyes wide and lips hang in disbelieve, “I thought you were just a myth.”

She smiled as her slender glowing fingers caress along Tim’s jaw, “There’s going to be a lot of hardship in front of you, but your soul is pure and your future is bright, you’re going to be just fine.”

Jason is clutching her hands, and he sees his body on the floor, no longer breathing. His line of eyesight is shorter, and the woman seems a lot taller, just like how he used to look up to Dick when he was little.

Tim jumped into a fighting stance, wary of the glowing being and him.

The being looks down towards him and smile, a sign. As she walks, Jason feels calm when he’s pulled to where she’s heading.

“You can’t take him!” Tim shrieked but they didn’t stop. “Jason! You haven’t told me what to tell Dick yet.”

Jason stops, so does her. There’s a heavy lump in his soul, and she looks at him, smiling and nodding in comprehension.

“It’s okay Tim, I’ll tell him myself.” He looks back, passing Tim a bright smile, “Don’t forget what I told you!”

Then Jason disappears.

+++

Chills run down his spine as the wind blows. He shouldn’t be able to feel those wind through his secure Nightwing suit.

He looks back to where the wind that brushed against his soul. The feeling in his heart makes him look up to the dark starless sky and found nothing. In that rooftop where he stood and searched for trouble, he spun around to where this feeling comes from.

At last, a boy materialized at the corner of the roof. He couldn’t believe his eyes. For a moment he thought he was under an influence, but there’s this serenity deep in his soul that called to the boy as someone dear.

Without his domino mask, the second Robin –Jason– is smiling with that toothy smile. A pinch twinged his heart, seeing Jason so small and in his old Robin suit. Boyish and innocent, his brother. For a solid second, he thought he was dreaming. But the reality is still intact and there’s his Jason, running towards him.

Dick catches him in mid-air, hugging him tightly. The warmth pressed against him, the small pair of arms that loops around his shoulder are squeezing tears from his eyes. The feeling of this contact hits too deep inside his broken heart. Too familiar to the days when he takes Jason in, when Dick has an adoring brother, before Jason died.

“How?” Dick croaks into Jason’s tiny shoulder. Detaching his arms from Jason’s back, the boy landed on the ground below, looking up with bright blue eyes filled with admiration and love, like he always does.

Jason tiptoed up to comb his bangs to the back of his ear, just like the nights he did when he thought Dick was asleep. Jason seems speechless as if overwhelmed, and his eyes brimming with tears.

“Without you, I would’ve lived without knowing what it felt like to have a family, to feel loved. So, thank you, for taking me in, for being there for me,” a tear falls down his rosy cheek, “I just wished I had enough time to return it to you.”

Dick feels his heart just sank into the abyss, he hates what Jason is implying.

“Jason, you... still can. You’re back right? You’re alive, you’re Red Hood... I don’t know what this is, but...” his words trail out to nothing when Jason shakes his head.

Jason wraps Dick in a hug, small but strong arms wrapped around his waist, “Goodbye, Dickie.”

A whine caught behind his throat, choking him out, and the pain in his heart feels physical. He wonders why he accepts this as it is, but somehow, he just knows.

Dick wraps his arms around Jason’s shoulder. With a hand on the back of his head, Dick pulls Jason closer and bury his face on top of his nest of hair. Inhaling the familiar scent, Dick’s tears fall on the blades of black and sobs.

“I love you, Jason.”

His little brother steps back, eyes wide as his expression broke. Something in his eyes that says something to him, something that Dick couldn’t point out, something that Jason won’t say.

“I love you too, Dick” Jason cried, grasping Dick’s hand tightly before finally letting go.

Dick tried to hold on to him, but he just slips through his hand. Just before he goes fully transparent, he sees a woman in the direction Jason is running.

It was only a glimpse, but Dick knows who she is, the savior of the tortured children. A lost soul of a woman that haunts the living and ‘saving’ children from their suffering. She takes the children’s soul and left their body in a state of comatose.

And she reaps the lives of adult grown up from the children she failed to save, giving them death without pain.

If Jason chose to go with her when he was young, he wouldn’t have died so horribly.

But he did anyway.

Dick just hoped Jason knew that he’s glad Jason chose to stay longer. Long enough for Dick to have these precious memories to live with now that he’s inevitably gone from the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Whaddayathink??
> 
> Open to critics. Comments and Kudos if you like this~
> 
> [find me on tumblr!](https://emotionalcello-makefanfics.tumblr.com/)


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